Starring Roles
by Reckless Dreamer Yuna
Summary: Because all Kagome ever wanted was to be the starring role in his life... AU, Rated M for grown up scenes and bad words. InuxKag. It's a five-shot. Review please.
1. No One New, No One Different

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I own the song I used for this.**

**Starring Roles**

Sometimes, she felt like a big mess of a joke gone wrong, and sometimes she felt almost like a prostitute, and most of the time she just wanted to be as invisible as she felt.

He got undressed for her and all he gave her was a heartbeat, that was it. But for him, she came undone. She gave him her body and soul, not just her heart or her heartbeat.

There was some sort of unfairness that encompassed his fucking, especially as her legs shut tight over his hips. And he held her just like it was the most vapid thing in the world and tucked her away in his back pocket just like that.

She couldn't tell which was the easiest thing in the world for him to do anymore. To fuck her or to screw her over, but either way, she was getting _fucked_.

Over the years, they had quieted down whenever they did _it_.

And she didn't dare say a word. She said his name when he told her to, desperate, angry, and about to come, and sometimes she'd make these little noises, and he'd swallow them with his whole mouth burning against hers as if he didn't want to hear anything that came out of her gasping mouth.

Inuyasha was difficult to talk to, but he was no one new and nothing different.

At first, she didn't want to keep having sex with him. But she figured it would be the closest thing he had to feeling something for her besides hate, so like a fool, she fucked him, and fucked him again and again and again. And also, at first, she was contempt. Not happy, but in a place where she felt as if she wasn't exactly miserable, and her place was in his bed, in apartment 1406 most of the time. She wasn't contempt about the fact that he hated her, but feelings had faded away a long time ago, and sex was so much easier when you felt nothing towards the person you were doing such an intimate thing with. But again, at first she just wanted to keep fucking him (it's hard to let go of a person) but then she got greedy…and she allowed herself to crave for…for _love _once more.

She was roughly jerking against him as he grind into her, the delighted friction making her clasp the silk sheets so tight her knuckles were turning white.

Whenever his eyes accidentally met hers, they'd be cold, and he'd…he'd seem so _void _of _anything_. Getting those eyes out of her head was a hard thing to do, but she had to if she wanted to come. If she pictured all the coldness he held for her and allowed herself to feel everything, feel every single fucking emotion, she'd lose the intensity he always helped her build up.

It happened this time, his eyes were so different tonight. Not a single thing in them.

So he came inside of her, a vicious growl ripped from his throat and she opened her mouth for a scream…for _something_…and it never came. _She _never came.

Blame it on the emotion that pooled deep inside of her belly and made her feel like throwing up her dinner. Blame it on that fucking emotion that made you stay up all night about to rip all your fucking hair out. Blame it on that emotion that made you cower under your bed. Blame it on that emotion that made you want to say sorry, but you knew that sorry was just a word.

He looked at her curiously.

"You didn't come." He said, pulling away from her and pulling on his boxers quickly.

Most of the time things were quiet between them after sex, except for the part of her falling out of his bed and rushing to pull all her clothes on so she could just _get out of there_.

Maybe the only reason she came was for that one little high he gave her, that one little high that kept her coming back.

_But there's always more to the story than just getting high off Inuyasha._

She was out of breath but she willed herself to sit up, a blush gracing the beautiful face that she harbored. Blue, soulful eyes and a physique that God had taken days to craft until its perfection was completely perfected.

He was looking at her again, and heat pooled between her legs once more and she wanted nothing more than to smash her lips against his, let him feel her from the inside out and _not _lose her high this time.

"I lost it." She told him, pulling on a flimsy shirt and sliding her shorts up her smooth legs.

Her heart sank a little when he simply nodded his head and turned on his side.

He never even told her goodnight anymore, or be safe walking home. Because you know, someone could just grab her up and decide to end her entire existence and then he wouldn't even be able to see her face anymore.

Sometimes she didn't think he minded.

**XXXXX**

He only called her when it was important or when he really needed a good fuck.

And even though she'd puked out all the substance from her body earlier that day, she left her apartment at 11:30pm like she always did, making sure to lock the door behind her.

And then she walked a block like she always did before she was knocking carefully at apartment 1406.

As soon as he let her in, she felt sick again but she waved it off and took a seat on the couch.

This was always how it started. She'd sit there politely, her legs crossed and her heart running a fucking marathon and she wouldn't look into his eyes, but she could always feel him staring at her. And then it would happen in a flash, he'd be towering over her with cold eyes and an icebox for a heart and he'd just…he'd kiss her like an overdramatic actor who was starving and fighting for his last shot.

She was against his bedroom wall now, not knowing exactly how it happened, legs wrapped around him and her hips grinding into his as he bit into her lip.

And all she could think was '_I'm so sorry, Inuyasha.'_

He pulled away to take a breath, and she made the mistake of looking into his eyes again. Before she could decipher whatever he was feeling, her back was bouncing against his mattress and there was a hole between her heart and one between her legs and she knew which one he was desperate to fill.

_Like filling in the blanks._

"You dressed different today," he said as he grinded his hips into hers, claws pulling at her shorts. "You don't look so…so…"

Now she never kissed him first, but she did today. She didn't want to feel her heart sink tonight, so she'd take him sinking into her instead.

He pulled back…panting.

"You smell different…"

She ignored him again, starting for his belt buckle and helping him get out of his pants.

Before she knew it, he was filling her up, making her take all of him. She was gripping onto those satin sheets again to keep from falling over, and he was fucking her in his favorite position.

He was roughly pulling on her ponytail, making her back arch like a feline, making her slam her hips back against his as he smacked her ass a little harder, as he went a little rougher and went a little faster.

He was grunting behind her and she bit her lip to muffle her sounds, burying her face into his bed sheets as she felt that intensity building up, that intensity that made her feel like she was going to lose it.

Pressure and lust gave away, and she cried out his name and with three more strokes, he was crying out to _anything_, falling on top of her.

Sometimes, she liked to lay there for a while to see how his muscles rippled under the moonlight as he struggled to catch his breath, or see the way his hair stuck to his forehead with perspiration, to see his Adam's apple as he gulped and tried to regain his composure.

And then, sometimes, he would just look out the window, or his eyes would catch hers for a second.

He was so beautiful when he was desiring the stars, the moonlight, desiring her body again.

But it was always over when it was supposed to be. They weren't a couple, they didn't do it over and over again or have a kiss in the moonlight that shined through his opened window and they didn't hold each other.

Inuyasha couldn't hold her like that anymore.

So she did the best thing she could ever do, and she left, disappearing into the midnight like always, but always wondering what he was thinking as he watched her go.

**A/N: Reviews make a girl happy. This story came out of nowhere, btw.**


	2. A Father and A Mother

Getting sick had began to be an everyday thing for her.

As soon as she woke up, it was the worst, and it progressed throughout the day.

Sometimes, she wondered if she was dying and that if she returned Inuyasha's calls and came over to let him_ know _she was dying, she wondered if he'd care.

It wasn't like her at all to ignore his calls, and it wasn't like him at all to text her, but he did anyway. Most of the time, he'd call and ask her, no, not ask her, but _demand _her to come over, and she'd hang up and be there in exactly five and a half minutes.

She hadn't answered him back for a week.

But deciding that she felt well enough today, she took to taking a shower, cautious of not moving too fast because if she did, she might just get sick again.

Sango, her best friend of thirteen years, asked if she was okay.

She nodded. "I'm going to see what Inuyasha wants."

Sango always gave her a look of disapproval, muscles moving in her mouth to make a frown and she'd get that sad look in her eyes. But Sango understood, and it wasn't as if she didn't care, but she just knew better than to try to stop Kagome Higurashi from seeing Inuyasha Takahashi. Because Sango knew well that nothing could stop love, not judgment, distance, or deceit.

But Sango thought of much better things Kagome should be doing, like pursuing her one of her longtime secret admirers, Hojo or Kouga, someone who was worthy of all the affection she knew Kagome was capable of giving.

So she crossed her arms and stood in the doorway. Kagome looked sick. There were bags under her eyes and her face was more pudgy and everything she ate, she threw up. She'd known for a while now, but Kagome was someone who stuck to denial.

So Sango smiled instead and offered her a hand. "Hey, how about we go get something to eat instead? And then we can go shopping and pick up some groceries. We need some more for the house anyway, right?"

**XXXXX**

Sango never knew with Kagome. Maybe she was in denial or maybe she already knew, but that wasn't the case.

All she'd ate was a salad with no dressing, just a bunch of greens, and walking down the baby aisle, she seen a sort of forlorn look in Kagome's eyes. A miserable and anxious look, mostly.

Kagome had been living with Sango for over a year now, so Sango knew her best friend's habits.

"You know…you don't look so well." Sango said, throwing a couple of much needed items in the buggy before looking over some more groceries.

"I don't need a doctor, Sango." Kagome had said quietly, a sort of snap in her voice.

"I don't think you need Inuyasha, either—" she'd started, only to be cut off.

"Why are you giving me a lecture now of all times?"

"He has a girlfriend—"

"Right. Kikyo. The famous model. And what am I supposed to do about it?" Kagome had asked almost dangerously, slight weary in her voice. She sounded so tired…so tired, and she knew she was.

Without thinking, she grabbed three pregnancy tests and shot Kagome a look, daring her to say anything.

And she didn't utter a single word the whole way home.

**XXXXX**

Never once in her life had she used one of these damn things, and she never imagined she'd be using it at the age of twenty-three, either.

She couldn't understand who would even _want _to.

Her bottom lip was swollen from her tooth's constant nagging on the piece of flesh. She paced back and fourth, feet bare and cold against the bathroom floor as her eyes quickly skimmed over the directions.

-_Step 1 – Taking the test_

_Place the absorbent tip pointing downward in your urine stream—_

And what the fuck? Who even writes out directions like these…

_...for __**5 seconds only**__…_

'_Five seconds?'_

…_;or you can collect a sample of your urine in a clean, dry container then place the absorbent tip—_

Who the fuck says absorbent tip, anyway?

Sango knocked on the bathroom door.

"What is it?" She hadn't meant to snap, but she did anyway.

"I was just checking up on you, you're taking an awfully long time for someone who's so _sure _they won't be popping out a baby in nine months—"

"Fuck off, Sango…" she muttered.

_...then place the absorbent tip pointing downward in your urine for __**20 seconds only. **__You may wish to replace the cap and lay the test stick flat…_

Who fucking called it a test stick, either?

She took a deep breath and followed the first option, thinking that this had to be the stupidest thing in the world, thinking that this had to be the most vulnerable she'd ever feel in her life…

_-Step 2 – Wait for the result._

She tapped her foot once, twice, three times against the linoleum, cold floors.

_The Smart Countdown will now be shown on the display so you know the test is working. Each segment will appear (flashing) in sequence to show the test is progressing._

Her heart was suddenly as heavy as her head, and she forced herself to take her eyes off of the test, to focus on something else. She looked down to her other hand that was on her knee, only to see that it was shaking violently.

'_I don't really even know what the fuck these words mean…and there's always two more tests to take. One might not be a hundred percent accurate. There's…there's always a better possibility.'_

She snatched the box up again with an angry look in her eyes, almost dropping it in the process.

_-Step Three – Read your result_

_Your result will appear within 3 minutes—_

But three minutes was an eternity too long, and…

…_and some results may be shown in as little as 1 minute—the Smart Countdown will progress more quickly in this case._

_A 'Pregnant' result will remain on the display for up to 6 months._

_A 'Not Pregnant' result will remain on the display for approximately 24 hours._

Her mouth dropped open and her vision turned blurry and the only thing she could do was let the damn stick fall on the floor, right next to her feet. It made a sound as it hit the cold floor.

Before she knew it, she was calling for Sango to bring her the other two tests in immediately.

**XXXXX**

Things were quiet the rest of the evening.

A baby…she was going to have a baby.

A beautiful baby that might take after it's mother, or worse, it's father.

…and she didn't want to have it, but then again, she _did_.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kagome?" Sango asked her, knocking on her bedroom door.

She stepped in without a word, suddenly surprised to see a girl who wasn't in tears, just deep though. She walked all the way in, no longer cautious, and took a seat next to her best friend, gripping her hand tight in hers.

"Look…we'll work something out, okay? I know you said you weren't going to get an abortion…but you could always consider adoption. Miroku," Sango's longtime boyfriend and high school sweetheart, "…Miroku told me that he wanted me to come and stay. I wanted to tell you earlier…but I knew something was going on. Don't be mad…but I told him you were going through a hard time and you needed me to stay with you for a while longer than I expected. But I've been thinking…if you decided to keep it, once you and the baby were settled in good enough, you could just stay here, you know, and I go move in with Miroku. But I'll always be just two miles away. And I'll always be here if you need me."

Kagome nodded her head, staring at the ceiling.

"You're not going to keep it?" Sango asked, almost as if she was expecting her not to.

Kagome gave her a look. "I'm not just going to drop it off on someone's door step after these nine months are over."

Sango nodded. "You need to tell your mom. You need to tell Inuyasha. After all, he has been trying to contact you, and I hope it's not for what got you like this in the first place…"

She felt sick again suddenly and she almost clenched her fists in rage because it was just her and all this _shit _inside of her head and a miniature Kagome or Inuyasha growing inside of her and goddamn, she was so _angry_!

"I used protection," her voice was calm. "I was on birth control, and then I remembered I skipped a few days, you know, and I thought I'd be okay. I can't be a father and a mother at the same time, Sango."

Sango smiled. "Well, you've always got me."

**A/N: It gets better...review.**


	3. Bastards Have Hearts, Too

She was hot and out of breath by the time she made it up the steps to apartment 1406. She felt nauseous and maybe it was from nerves, she wasn't sure.

Mama had been happy, but she didn't know the half of it. Sango had been supportive and Miroku had been encouraging. Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi had been surprised, immediately wondering who the father was, but happy, thinking that she'd finally gotten over that _'jerk' _Inuyasha.

And he really was a jerk.

She'd worn navy blue shorts, sandals and a tank top that showed off a still flat stomach.

"So, you finally decided to stop ignoring me, huh, Higurashi?"

She watched as his lips curved into a smirk but there was something unusual about those eyes today. He could probably smell it on her, but he seemed too excited to notice.

Not that she cared about his excitement, not that he cared about hers.

He examined her outfit, looked at her all over and she felt her cheeks burning hot like they always did, and she knew if he towered over her with those cold eyes and an icebox for a heart again, she'd have to push him away. But she never got used to the idea of pushing Inuyasha away, so…

…his hands were on her hips, nose muffled into her neck. This wasn't romantic, it never was. It was always purely aggressive, him getting tastes of what he knew couldn't be his anymore.

Her hands shook, but she pushed him away. He obliged, surprised. And there were those cold eyes once more.

"I've got something to tell you, Inuyasha…" she muttered. He hadn't been able to tell, maybe he would've if the scent of Kikyo's perfume wasn't clogging her senses.

He looked at her expectantly, arms crossed and his stance slightly awkward, it had been weird pushing him away and he knew it, too.

"I—" she started, not exactly knowing how to tell him. She laughed for the first time since she'd gotten the news. "I came over here to do it, but also, for another reason, too. I had to tell you something," nausea hit her with a wave and her knees were shaky like her hands, so she sat back down. "Now that I'm here, I don't wanna do it today. I don't want to tell you."

He nodded again, and she couldn't fucking _stand it _whenever he did that.

He was silent for a while before speaking up. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him.

"I…I called you because I wanted to end things. I…I proposed to Kikyo a few days ago, and I'm not going to let you fuck this up for me, you hear me? I shouldn't have came on to you, especially when I was supposed to be ending things. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but _thank you_, you pushed me away."

She was stunned for a long time, and then she found the strength to whisper. At least it was something…right? "H-how…when, Yasha?"

He snarled at her old nickname for him. "I love her and I'm _not _going to let you fuck this up for me…and if you must know, it was our nine month anniversary. I should've stopped a long time ago."

He shook his head. "Are you gonna stay? Or are you leaving?"

She raised a brow, emotions running wild. "Are you suggesting I fuck you one last time by asking me if I'm going to stay? You said it yourself, you don't want me to fuck this up for you and you _love her_."

He smirked. "I change my mind. One more go at it for old time's sake?"

She stood, red in the face. "You're a fucking pig!"

He laughed. "Learn how to use _sarcasm_, 'Gome. It gets you far. Goodbye."

That was all she heard from him before she slammed his door so hard she prayed the hinges would break off. She wished she would have listened before.

**XXXXX**

Once upon a time ago, Kagome loved this boy whose hair looked like the moon, whose eyes looked like the sun with heaven orbiting around them, and it hurt when he looked at her and it hurt even more when he didn't…

"_I can't keep going through this shit with you!" she yelled at him, her eyes on fire and her soul so heavy to be such a young age._

_He stood there, an angry expression taking over his face to mask guilt, because anger _always _helped._

_She knew she shouldn't have gotten so attached, but you loved who you loved. And after a year of on and off dating, she'd found him in bed with someone _else. _Someone _else _had been in his dorm, someone _else _had been crying out his name._

_It was always off and on with Inuyasha. One day he loved her, the next he wanted to be friends and nothing more. One day there was an 'I love you so much,' and the next there was a 'You know I care about you, and I don't want to hurt you, and I like you but…'_

_She was extremely intimidated by Kikyo, yes, but that wouldn't stop her from speaking her mind._

"_I'm done with you!" she was so weak then, tears running down her face, probably snot, too. "You can take your whores and you can take everything else, and everyone else you think that gives a damn about you! And when you actually realize that that…that BITCH is fucking other people behind your back, which is a great fucking taste of your own medicine, and when you realize that all of your goddamn friends only want you for your money like that bitch does, don't you dare think about running back, Inuyasha! I am done!"_

_He never put one hand on Kagome, nor would he harm her in any way, the wench knew that. But as she stood there, making a scene, he swiftly reached forward to grip her arm, get her to calm down, but she tore away from him, and he received a smack that actually made his head go around in circles._

_He hissed before pulling her away, pushing her roughly against the wall. _

"_Bitch…" he muttered. "Watch who you swing on."_

_And oh, there was nothing worse than feeling guilty, and there was nothing worse than knowing that his Kagome was gone for good all due to some stupid mistake he'd made._

_She whimpered, flinching like she _really _thought he was going to hit her, and he was sure his heart broke…_

_Opening her eyes, tears still pouring down from them, she jerked away from him and he'd been so caught up over the fact that his heart was _really _breaking, that he didn't notice the fear in her eyes at first._

_That made him feel like he was coming undone, and before he knew it, a whimper escaped past his lips and he eyes the bruise he'd put on her arm, and tried to pull her forward._

_That fear was in her eyes again._

"_Don't fucking touch me!" she hissed, blue-gray eyes bloodshot. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore."_

_He grabbed her again, suddenly terrified at the thought of her never sticking around. "Grow up, Kagome! We weren't in a relationship at the moment. I'm single. I'm not yours and if I want to fuck Kikyo-"_

_She tore away from him again and he was suddenly hopeless, realizing he'd just made it a trillion times worse._

"_You fucking _idiot! _What did you expect me to do? Not fall in love even though you couldn't make up your fucking mind on who you wanted? I've watched you chased after her and bow down and practically kiss her feet, and one day you're saying you love me and the next I'm just a fucking _friend! _You kept me hoping you'd change…giving me false faith whenever you wanted your way with me, and I'm done! I'm a bigger idiot than you, because I kept feeding into the bullshit, believing it! And I'm _done, _I refuse to be a fool and sit around to get hurt when I know I don't have to be treated this way! I'm _done_!"_

_And she'd left him there, hopeless as he'd ever felt, guilt and anger and hatred coursing through his veins._

_He'd never felt that alone, even if Kikyo was gorgeous and did want to pursue a relationship with him. Even if he did fuck her. Even if he did for a second think that he loved Kikyo…_

…_nothing was making the fact that Kagome was no longer there better._

_So from that day on, he decided he'd have an icebox for a heart, and also decided that hating Kagome would make him feel a little better, that it would give him a reason not to feel so miserable._

**XXXXX**

My name is Inuyasha, and I'm a fucking bastard.

I'm a self-loathing asshole who keeps fucking up with every single step I take in my life. Most people would describe me as a jerk, but I'm more than that. I'm a fucking nightmare walking, I'm the real deal, baby.

I am possessive, demanding, selfish, and _miserable_.

The bad part is that I _shouldn't _be miserable.

I should be brilliantly happy. I should be grateful and I should be nicer, but goddamnit, I can't bring myself to be any of those things.

Kikyo said yes. I don't think my mother was all that fond of her in the beginning. And if I want to be completely honest with myself, I'm getting married because I'm _tired_ of being miserable. Money used to make me happy. Sex used to make me happy and the idea of marriage had scared me off ever since I was a teenager.

Now I'm a twenty-four year old man, or disgrace, whatever you'd like to call a half-demon, and I am forcing myself into a marriage I don't want.

It's been three weeks since Kagome stormed off from apartment 1406 with a red face and ocean eyes that had been set on fire, and even with Kikyo wrapped around me, I couldn't get the image of it out of my head, just like I couldn't get all the other times I'd hurt her, made her cry, made her angry, out of my head.

And that's why I'm a fucking asshole.

I don't know how or why or when we started sleeping around together once more. That's all we were about during high school and during college until she found me and Kikyo naked in our so called "cheat sheets." The fact that she'd used that weird play on a word instead of any other vulgar thing she could've said still made me crack a bit of a smile.

And I was such a fucking bastard, calling her and demanding that she come over, cheating on Kikyo with her, who'd happily obliged to pursue a relationship with me after Kagome left. I had gotten myself into a weird predicament, and it was one that tore at me every night and everyday.

I guess you're thinking that bastards feel no remorse, that bastard don't feel _anything_.

But _God_, I feel _everything_. I feel grateful when Kagome gives me her body almost every night after we've both come home from work, after we're both tired. At day we hate each other, and at night we hate each other, too, but we've always expressed hate at night time differently towards each other.

I fuck her and I fuck her hard so that I can keep hating her, but it never seems to _quite _do the job…

And I do hate her, I hate her for so many things. I hate how Kouga pursues her, how it sometimes seems like she's going to give in to a clumsy wolf that trips over his feet and words around her. I hated her for being that beautiful, beautiful enough to make_ me _trip over my thoughts and feelings. I hated how quiet she was when I fucked her now, because how in the world could she be that quiet when I'm pounding into her like no other man will ever have the chance to? I hated the way she dressed, showing off a body that I knew as mine for as long as I could remember. I hated her ocean eyes and how hurt they always seemed.

And I hated her for not loving me back anymore while I was stuck the same way she'd left me years ago. I hated the way she made me feel alright, hated the way she left me feeling satisfied, and not even my beautiful, amazing girlfriend, Kikyo Hiroshima could do that.

I hated her for driving me to propose to Kikyo. I hated how easily she gave up on the thought of not being able to see me anymore, to fuck me anymore. I almost snarled at the thought of another man dominating her.

But god, oh fucking _god _I hated her the most for not loving me back anymore. Oh, how rough I fuck her when I think of that very idea, making my blood pump heatedly and making my cock harden even more in pure fucking _anger_, and oh, how deep my claws dug into her hips when I think of that.

Because that's what bastards do.

Bastards also decided to check up on women they loved who didn't love them back, because bastards were possessive, selfish, demanding jerks.

So I called her, being sure to keep the triangular ears atop of my head attentive, making sure Kikyo wasn't waking up. Bastards also were disgusted by the word _fiancé…_

Five rings and she never picked up.

**XXXXX**

His heart began to pump a little faster, because bastards had hearts too, and sometimes, his heart decided not to be an icebox.

He knew he'd get cussed out just like a bastard should, but he called Sango anyway.

And what she told him made his heart stop.

"She moved a week ago. I'm sorry, I didn't feel the need to tell you considering you and her don't get on well. Now goodnight, Inuyasha. Go be with your fiancé. I'm sure she wants you back in bed."

Sometimes, bastards threw their cellphones into walls so hard that it shattered to pieces. Sometimes bastards felt like collapsing to the floor and pulling their hair out, or cowering under a bed until it was all over.

Sometimes, bastards decided to step up and be men, too, and take what they knew was always theirs.


	4. Pixie Dust and A Heart of Gold

Once again, he was a bastard.

Or was he a savage?

After three weeks of contemplating, he decided on what was best for him. He may have been a bastard, but he couldn't find it in his heart to break things off with Kikyo just yet.

Inuyasha knew what love was, he wasn't stupid. He'd witnessed it and felt it firsthand, but he just wasn't sure what it was at the time. He knew it was a strong emotion, like when you didn't like someone, but you loved them all at the same time. It was like rolling your eyes and making sure that the significant person gets their way with you anyway, just so they could be happy. It was an intense emotion that made him want to cower under his bed.

And like the bastard he was, that's all he ever did because he was so used to it.

He was used to pushing Kagome away, trying to take all the power she had of breaking him away so she could never break him. He was used to only getting undressed for her by taking off his clothes, not the way she undressed for him. He was used to hating her because he knew there was a thin line between love and hate and there was a strong emotion when it came to Kagome.

He knew he was a fucking bastard who probably didn't deserve a chance to even admire her, but this bastard was sorry…and he wanted to let her know this.

**XXXXX**

Often, she found herself wondering what it would feel like when the little pea inside of her started kicking her from the inside out.

It almost made her think of Inuyasha.

She often touched the small but very noticeable bump just to see if she could get her imagination running, just to imagine feeling a tiny hand wrapped around her pinky, just to imagine baby smooth skin and diaper rashes and formula.

Sometimes she wanted little Kagome or little Inuyasha to stay safe and warm forever inside of her just so he or she would never have to deal with the harsh brutality of the real world, just so he or she wouldn't ever have to feel like the world had them by their throat.

Sometimes the idea hurt her so much that she'd just sit around and cry.

Kouga had offered to be there, be someone to take care of her. But no one could take care of her quite like Inuyasha used to do, and that made her sad, so she'd talk to her belly, tell her baby about his or her daddy.

When she was crying and felt nauseous suddenly, she'd say "Hey, whoever you are in there, don't worry. Mommy just misses daddy a lot today, that's all."

And then she felt stupid because there wasn't much to miss. Yes, she missed the old Inuyasha, the one who couldn't decide whether or not he had feelings for her, but old Yasha smiled at her. He laughed with her. He kissed her with a mouth and heart full of emotions that he didn't want to express or succumb to. He touched her with a trembling sweetness she adored.

She hadn't seen him for two months. Today made two months.

Sometimes she wondered if he was all safe and happy and warm with Kikyo, and then she'd cry again, not over that, but because Inuyasha, _her _Inuyasha fucking Takahashi wouldn't know that he'd have a baby by a woman he could never quite love.

Mama and Souta came to visit sometimes. Mama Higurashi would smooth a hand over the bump her grandchild made and with pixie dust and glitter and all things that made up a fairytale look in her eyes, she'd proudly declare, "I'm going to have an adorable granddaughter with miniature, fuzzy triangles for ears and a heart that's made of gold."

Kagome felt like sometimes, her baby would have pixie dust in it's eyes, too.

A granddaughter sounded very fine, and a daughter sounded just right.

**XXXXX**

No one had ever told him that she'd moved out here, so far away from him, alone.

No one had told him that the Hobo guy moved out here to be near Kagome.

No one told him that they had gotten close over the four months that she'd been gone away.

No one had told him that Sango, Miroku, Mrs. Higurashi, Souta, Kouga, Eri, Yuka, Ayumi, and Kouga had taken a trip out here to visit.

No one had told him that suddenly, Homo and Kagome had really hit it off and that he'd asked for her hand in marriage.

No one had told him that she'd said yes, or that her wedding day was tomorrow.

Bastards had to do what bastards had to do.

He could smell her from a mile away, that sweet scent of vanilla and jasmine aggressively attacking his nose and almost making his knees buckle underneath him. And then there was some other fucking scent he was probably too angry to even take the time to distinguish before he bombarded the door to her home with his fists clenched together like the way his heart was.

"Open up the door, Kagome."

**XXXXX**

She'd expected about this much, to be honest.

Their old relationship, or whatever it was, used to be the same thing. He'd be so hard to talk to sometimes, so hard to hold, and then, she'd smell Kikyo's perfume or she'd catch word about them being seen together. She'd say that she wanted no more and run off with the whole Amazon River streaming down her cheeks, he'd come up with some stupid, gruff apology and she'd say he was forgiven for him to run off and do the same thing.

She said she expected this but she still found it within her to gape like a fish out of water.

Were him and Kikyo happily married now? After all, Inuyasha was a business man. He got things out of the way as fast as he could.

'_Like making me pregnant with little Kagome or little Inuyasha.'_

She assumed that he'd heard. Heard about the whole Hojo thing, a lie that she had been willing to play along with to keep him out of her life for good. There was no Hojo, there was no wedding tomorrow.

"Leave, Inuyasha." Kagome had said as if he hadn't gotten on a plane and traveled three thousand miles away just to bang on her door.

"I'll give you until one," Inuyasha said, seething.

Her eyes widened. Truth be told, she expected Inuyasha to respect the so-called 'fact' that tomorrow was her wedding day. She expected him to respect her choices and decisions and go separate ways for good, but she kind of hadn't been expecting it, hence the whole 'I'm getting married tomorrow, Inuyasha!' thing. She'd told Sango to make sure that it got back to him so she wouldn't have to be in this position right now…

"Five," he said, a snarl ripping through his throat, "four…three…two…one…"

"Goddamnit, Inuyasha! Okay, okay."

He slid through the cracked door easily.

**XXXXX**

It had been four, almost five months since he'd seen Kagome Higurashi. Sometimes, he stared at the pictures they'd taken in high school and college at night when everything was quiet and lonely, his eyes skimming over every detail in her face. From her ocean eyes to her tiny nose, from her midnight hair, which was much longer than the last time he'd seen her, to her plump, pink lips that were always ripe for kissing…and…and for _other things _that he tried not to think of for too long.

But they had a _lot _of memories.

His original intentions were to take her back with confidence, with his demeaning authority that always seemed to make her swoon. But then his eyes began to take note of her larger breasts, her longer hair, her creamy thighs in her short nightgown that fit her curves just right, those lively ocean eyes that were wild with fiery anger, those smooth and delicate hands that always made him gasp for breath whenever she smoothed them over his cock were shaking at her sides. And then there were those erected nipples that almost had him seeing red, and then the swell of her stomach…

His heart dropped like a beat and he gulped, looking back up with her, some kind of emotion she could not decipher swimming through his eyes.

And then he _was _seeing red.

"You…you…_bitch_!" He said, hands shaking at his sides as he watched her with her lovely face and all, raise her chin up to look him straight into his red eyes, making him even more angrier.

He moved up to her and savagely licked her lips, and she held her composure.

"You…you…you broke my heart, you fucking _bitch."_

She nodded, tears in her eyes but her chin still raised. "You broke mine's first."

"You're a _bitch!_"

Claws tearing into her nightgown, she did all she could do.

"And you're a bastard. A lying, cheating bastard," she whispered against his lips before brushing hers against his, tears certainly running down her face now. There was no such thing as holding them back anymore.

And she'd missed him. She wrapped her arms around him and bit into his bottom lip softly to _show _him how much she missed him.

She pulled away, pleased to see his eyes return to their normal hue. He looked weakened and exhausted, completely worn out. He looked hopeless, and though she had imagined how good it would feel, it _hurt_.

He took a seat down on her couch. "I loved you."

Kagome shook her head. "You're out of it. You don't know what you're saying right now—and that's okay. I understand. Let's get you a cab and find you a motel, and then you can be out of here by tomorrow, okay?"

He firmly shook his head. "I loved you, woman."

She looked down to her flimsy nightgown that showed much of the baby bump that Inuyasha didn't know that he'd helped her gain, and then looked at him. "You never loved me."

"I _love _you, Kagome."

She stood, more tears forming. "Stop saying that!" she covered her ears. "You don't love me! You don't love _me_, Inuyasha, and you will never love me! You had Kikyo! You had her and you had a ring and a dream job and a dream car and a nice future, but you didn't have _me _because you _never _wanted me!"

He growled and stood to his feet, too. "I _always _wanted you!"

"_You always wanted Kikyo_!" she yelled at the top of her lungs and instantly regretted it. It probably wasn't good for the baby, but neither was Inuyasha.

"_But when the fuck did you EVER start wanting that son of a bitch!_" he screamed right in her face, moving towards her like she was prey.

"_Everyone _bullshitted me! Everyone told me that you moved and never uttered a word as to where! And you're all the way over _here, _getting married to some fucking pansy tomorrow that's probably scared of sex, who's dick is probably smaller than my thumb! But oh, wait! To put the icing on top of the cake, you're fucking _knocked up_, too?"

She took a step forward. Never had Inuyasha scared her. "You're such a stupid _prick_! Who the hell are you to talk down on my marriage and my pregnancy, you fucking bastard?!"

"I can, because I fucking _love _you and I don't get why you're doing this to yourself!"

"Oh," she snorted, crossing her arms. "I'm doing this to myself because I'm making myself happy. I'm finally realizing who was there and who wasn't," true, even though upset and slightly disappointed, Hojo promised he'd be here throughout her whole pregnancy. "If you loved me you'd leave."

He snorted, looking away from her and crossing his arms over his chest, too. She looked around a little to see his eyes watering, and it made her chest constrict and her heart jump into her throat.

'_Inuyasha?'_

"You're right," he said, turning around to face her. He bit his lip so hard that blood almost started running down from the almost-inflicted wound, and if it had, she knew she'd have an urge to lick it off. "If I love you, I have to leave, right? And you're happy, too. You're pregnant. Congratulations. And you're getting married. Congrats once again."

She blushed softly, suddenly at loss for what to say. She folded her hands behind her back shyly. "Thank you."

He nodded and just as he was about to go travel another three thousand miles back to where he came from, she stopped him by gripping his hand tight in hers.

She looked up at him through long lashes. "Why'd you come, Inuyasha?"

He snatched his hand from hers, eyes still looking a little glazed. "It doesn't matter anymore."

She was at the front door before he could take three steps towards it. "You mean to tell me you flew three thousand miles and found out where I lived, came here and banged on my door for nothing? I'm pregnant. I'm getting married tomorrow," he snarled and bit his lip again. "I should be happy. You disturbed my peace and for that, I deserve an explanation."

He took in her beautiful form once more, that was now slightly swollen from expecting a child, and shook his head as a growl erupted deep from within his chest. "Maybe I should get out of here before I lose it."

She felt a tiny, tiny kick from within her belly and she smiled.

She suddenly wanted him to stay. After months of continuous crying and hoping and wishing, he was here.

"We could talk as friends for a second." She told him.

And so they did.

"How many months are you?" he asked, his voice sad and distant. He'd never expressed these kind of emotions before, and suddenly, she wanted to see him express _everything_.

"Four, going on five," she told him, a little twinkle in her eye.

He froze. "T-that's around the same time you left, right? You were never into Hojo back then…god…you never fucking _told _me, Kagome…"

She looked at him, a smile threatening to break through. "I figured it wasn't worth it. After all, the baby wasn't yours, it didn't concern you…"

"Are you sure it's not?"

He'd said that without really meaning to, but now that it was out there, he couldn't take it back. Nor he could he take back the growl that ripped through throat and roared in chest. Nor could he take back the way his claws dug into her sofa.

She nodded, all newfound hope of telling him completely vanished.

"I love my baby…and I love Hojo, too. Are you actually thinking that the baby—"

She was cut off by another deep growl and from a snarling Inuyasha in her face. "You're lying, wench! That may be his child, but you don't love Hojo…you can't fucking love Hojo, so cut the bullshit!"

Her whole world on fire, she stood and pushed him away from her. "What do you mean I can't love Hojo?! I can love whoever I so please…"

His lips were on hers in an instant and his heavy hands were pulling her hips toward his, making both their hips slam into one another's. She gasped and tossed her head back, the sensation of being touched by him long overdue…

"But Hojo isn't me. Might be his kid, but you? You're _mine_."

His tongue brushed against hers and she shuddered before pushing him away, fresh tears on her face.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!" she yelled out at him, pushing and punching and shoving at him.

He caught her wrists with both of his hands, his eyes angry. "I'm the idiot? You're the one who got knocked up by _that _idiot, you're the one marrying an idiot tomorrow! Or…you were!"

She shook her head before taking a step away. "I can't believe I thought you'd care enough to notice."

He growled, more frustrated than ever. One second he wanted to find Hojo and rip his head off and throw it in the fucking ocean, and one second, all he wanted to do was forget that he'd made himself look so stupid in front of Kagome…forget that she had actually agreed to marry some idiot…let him knock her up. Kagome had always made sure _they _used protection.

"What are you talking about?"

"You came here just because you were bored with your little fiancé, or wife, whatever she is to you now. You came here because you want me to run back to you so I can get laughed at when I'm face down in the dirt again, wondering once more why you never bothered catching me. You don't love me, Inuyasha."

He pulled her towards him, his lips close to her ear. "You're not marrying him tomorrow."

"I am," she challenged, a dangerous dare in her eyes.

"You are _not_."

"_I AM!_" she exclaimed, snatching away from him to brush away her tears. "Go to hell, bastard."

"I know I'm a bastard," he said softly.

"_Congrats_."

"Kagome—" he started, but he didn't know what to say. Here she was, the woman he'd finally realized he loved, pregnant and to be married tomorrow. He was upset. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want her to have a baby with some other man that wasn't him. He didn't want her marrying some pansy in this stupid place. He wanted her home, where she belonged.

"I know I was a bastard," he started off again, a snort escaping him. "I'm not good at holding emotions. They burst whenever they feel like it. I know I have a bad temper and I know that sometimes I make you feel worthless, but you are so worth it, Kagome, and it took me a long time to see that. When you pushed me away, said you were done with me, it made things change for good. I tried to feel something other than love for you, and I didn't want to feel heartbroken over you leaving me anymore. I didn't want to feel empty. So I pushed away every single thing you wanted me to feel for you back then, and I wanted to hate you, but it wasn't enough. I had to be near you, I had to be inside of you. I never said I'm in love with you, but I got a hell of a lot better at hiding it. I know I'm a jerk. I know you need to run away from me again, some place where I'll never be able to find you. But I fucking love you, Kagome Higurashi, and I can't let you get married tomorrow. You already know I'm a bastard. Don't make me give you other reasons as to why I'm saying you can't."

His whole speech had her eyes tearing up and she wrapped her arms around him, and surprised, he pulled her into his arms. She kissed his cheek and his lips brushed across hers, tasting her tears.

"So…you're not getting married tomorrow…right?" he asked after a while of holding her.

She shook her head and he growled in approval and relief.

"And you still love me…right?" he wanted to hear her say yes so bad.

She pulled away slightly to meet his eyes and smiled. "I wouldn't stop even if my life counted on it."

He growled once more in approval and pulled her towards him, burying his nose into her hair and kissing her neck gently, licking it languidly. She giggled. "I don't smell Hojo on you," he pulled away, confused. "This…it smells like a mix of us."

"I totally think you're gonna be a great dad." Kagome said, bracing herself for what was to come next.

His eyes snapped open and he looked at her curiously, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're lying. And even if you're not lying, either way I'll still be mad."

"Don't stay mad for long," she whispered against his lips before kissing him deeply. "I'm sorry," she said as she pulled away. "I found out when I was with Sango. It was the day before you told me you proposed to Kikyo. I was going to tell you that day I came over, but…" her voice croaked.

He shushed her with his finger, pulling her into his arms. He was beyond happy, happier than he would probably ever be, and of course he was a little mad… "I broke things off with Kikyo a while ago. I felt bad…but I was tired of being miserable. I was tired of not being able to have you fully, and she pursued me…and I thought that maybe I could stop screwing around with you, maybe I would stop cheating on her, but mostly, I wanted to stop making you feel like you were used, because I felt like I couldn't keep hurting you that way, and I couldn't keep loving you when—"

She kissed him to shut him up. "I was so scared when I found out. Then I was about to tell you, but you had proposed, and we had got into an argument. I wanted to tell you, Yash…and sometimes, I got so sad. I got so sad being all by myself and I just really missed you—"

This time he interrupted her with a kiss. "No more of that, woman. And I'll buy you a ring bigger than Homo could even imagine."

She smirked. "Really now, Mr. Takahashi? You want me to steal your last name, you mean?"

He pulled his hands around her waist, giving her backside a squeeze before kissing her nose and making her giggle with delight. "We can always share…and I can think of a whole lot more things we could share, too." He said, licking her ear and making her blush as red as a tomato.

"Inuyasha!" she exclaimed, face still burning red.

"When is my pup due?" he asked gently, pulling her into his lap.

"July 9th, supposedly." Kagome said, leaning into him and feel ecstatic for once. _Baby Takahashi _was trying to run a marathon with little kicks every now and then.

"And it's a boy, right?"

Kagome hit him lightly. "No, stupid. Don't jinx me. Boys are too hard to handle and they make girls cry."

He snorted before nicking her on the neck. "Well, girls are drama queens and they're much too sneaky. So…let's have both."

Her heart pumped excitedly in her chest and her smile was as bright as the stars. "Only if you agree to no more Kikyo, no more stalking me down, though you really won't have to, not anymore," she snuggled in closer to him. "And only if you agree to make up to me for hurting me so many times. You broke my heart."

Here they were now. She would be heavy with his pup in just a few months and she would be giving birth to a child he really didn't think would be his. But here they were now, even after months of being apart.

"Only if you agree to always love me back no matter how much of a bastard I am—"

"I do that all the time, Yash—"

He growled at her for interrupting him... "And only if you agree to be my wife and mate, if you can deal with a bastard for forever."

She snuggled closer to him. "I've dealt with you for this long."

Even bastards deserved happy endings...

He let his fingers smooth over hers before lifting up a shaking hand to brush his fingers across her red cheeks. "Why…why did you lie to me? Why did _everyone _lie to me?"

Kagome looked up at him, kissing his cheek and giggling at the pout on his face. "Everyone was only protecting me, Inuyasha. Everyone wanted me to tell you and I only wanted you to be happy with Kikyo…" she trailed off, her hand fumbling with his as she brushed her thumb over his knuckles before leaning in closer to him.

He felt his throat tighten, his heart jump—and he really was a _bastard_. Little Kagome, little Kagome that gave him feelings that were so intense that it almost made him sick to his stomach, planned to raise their own kid all by herself and never tell him a word about it, but all feelings of anger were soon replaced by guilt as his nose snuggled into her cheek. Yes, she could have easily told him…and no, she didn't have to lie about Hojo and drive him to the point of insanity and plain hopelessness. But all because she wanted him to be happy, and he knew she had to be in love with him to go through all that.

"Wench…you were planning on raising a hanyou child all by yourself with no help…and…and you never thought of abortion?"

She pulled away, fire in her eyes again as she hit him, making him groan. "How can you say that?"

"It's a hanyou, Kagome…" he trailed off and then he felt her lips brush across his chastely.

"And have I ever judged you? Have I ever hated you for what you were, Inuyasha? I've always loved you for who you were, not for your money or your cars or your job…all I ever wanted was you. And I freaked when I found out, it's a surprise I didn't lose it, because what was I going to do with myself? Having a child by you while you were in love with another? When you proposed to another? But I kept it…because I've always loved you for you, and I felt like the baby was a gift you left me with so I could always remember the one I loved."

"I don't love Kikyo," he told her, cheeks red from her confession. She always had this little fucking spell on him that made his cheeks go red, made his heart swell. "I love you. And I'm sorry, Gome…like I said, I was in denial about my feelings. I proposed to Kikyo because I felt like she deserved it. I was always fucking you, or I was always thinking about you, missing you, trying to tell myself that I didn't," his cheeks were redder, and Kagome knew that she was so lucky to have Inuyasha express himself to her like this. "That doesn't explain why you lied about the marriage, telling me that it was _Hobo's_ _fucking kid_."

She smiled softly and a little sadly at how upset he was… "I wanted you to stay away. I wanted you to think I was off and happy with Hojo so you could be happy with Kikyo…and I didn't think it would hurt you much seeing as the way you acted towards me…" he frowned and she kissed it off his mouth and replaced it with a smile like a magic act. "I always wanted you to know, I didn't want you mad at me…"

"Hush, Kagome," he said with a genuine smile before kissing her again.

Bastards always deserved happy endings…even if they fucked up, they had to prove that they would try their best to fix it, and there was something about this bastard named Inuyasha Takahashi that made him head over hills for Kagome Higurashi.


	5. Terrifyingly Tiny and Extraordinary

It was hard to believe.

Could you imagine it? Baby smooth skin and diaper rashes and formula?

Could you imagine that just one act committed by a man and woman who either loved each other, hated each other, felt nothing at all for each other, or a mix between all or two of the feelings, could create something like that?

Someone that took more love than it gave. Someone who giggled and smiled and laughed and kicked its legs at you. Someone that you had to burp and feed and give all your undivided attention to, someone that made you feel as if every bad or good thing you'd ever did in your life led up to them. Someone that had little hands and little feet and someone that grew a heart while inside of his or her mother.

Inuyasha could imagine it all. Shitty and pissy diapers and crying all night and not getting any sleep and puke and baby lotion and baby powder. The idea had never appealed to him before. It had been gross, it had been unacceptable in his eyes. And now it was all he could think of.

Kagome was five and a half months today. This was his first time coming to any doctor's appointments with him, and she'd warned him to be cool, not to pass out, and not to keep asking her if she wanted to find out what they were having because she wanted it to be kept a secret until she held her baby in her arms, heard it's first cry.

But with lots of begging and more than just enough love—sometimes _extra _love that Kagome could not deny—she'd agreed.

He watched as the wand smoothed the cold gel over her basketball-sized belly, his brow twitching in anticipation. She'd showed him all of the pictures, but he wanted to see their baby moving around inside of her with his own eyes.

His eyes were intensely watching the screen, and when the image popped up…he could've passed out but he promised Kagome he wouldn't.

It was like all the words the doctor said went in one ear and out of the other…saying the baby was healthy…yeah, like he didn't know that already. He took good care of Kagome, made sure she got her rest and also made sure that he did possibly every single thing he could do for her, whether it be cooking or cleaning and whatever else she needed done. He rubbed her back when she got cramps in it, held her hair back when she felt nauseous every once in a blue moon. He massaged her, he made her cry out his name in ecstasy and made sure his baby wouldn't be crippled by their acts…or blind…but it was a possibility…but he hoped not, and he showered her with everything she desired. He made her _happy_, made sure she ate right and took her vitamins and drunk bunches of water…of course their kid was fucking healthy.

His soon-to-be wife was smiled at him out of the corner of her eye before she turned her attention back to the baby…

_Their _baby, with her heart of gold and with her ambition and love, with his strength and courage and protectiveness.

"It's a girl, congratulations!"

And then, he almost did pass out…with the gasp of happiness that came from Kagome and the doctor saying it's healthy over and over again…shut the _fuck up _because he already knew…but other than that there was this sort of roar in his ears, one that made him want to pull Kagome out of there and make her scream over and over again for making him be the proud father of a beautiful _daughter._

"Did you hear that, Yash? It's a girl, so that means that all those boy clothes you brought, you can return them or give them to Sango once her little one comes…but we're having a _girl_!"

She was so excited that she was about to burst.

He growled then, realizing how many guys would be after his beautiful daughter—and of course, it was Kagome who had to laugh at him in happiness and amusement.

**XXXXX**

I've never seen something so tiny in all my life.

I was scared to touch her, she looked so breakable, so vulnerable.

I remember being scared when Kagome handed her over to me, an encouraging smile on her face. Her eyes were tired, her body sore, but she never lost energy or the life in her eyes.

The first thing I ever did was hold her. The second thing I did was touch her soft skin with my nose, breathing in her scent. She was fresh…clean…pure, and men, nor bastards, ever cried, so I didn't. All those tears were unshed. Her scent meant that she was a chance to make the world a better place.

I've seen and done horrible things in my life. I've seen people die and I've hurt people and I've been mean to people. I have cursed and drank and fought my entire life. I've been ridiculed and discriminated against and I've been hurt. I've been hurt so much before. I have lost my sanity at times and I've almost lost my mind.

She was the first pure thing I've ever seen. She was the only good and pure thing I'd ever seen. My eyes were almost glowing as I watched her mouth open for a yawn, a midnight black ear twitching. And then, the little thing was falling asleep on me.

I fell in love with Kagome again. I fell in love with everything again, and I fell in love with this terrifyingly small, small, _small _version of me and Kagome over and over and over again until I knew just how precious she was.

I think of her…I think of the only pure and simple—but so extraordinary—thing that I've ever seen.

**XXXXX**

He spent the whole night holding them.

Even when Kagome lifted up her top and let her wandering little mouth make its way to latch on to her nipple, he had his arm around her, his head on her shoulder. He was exhausted, and began to wonder if you could actually be exhausted from being in complete bliss.

Kaya.

Simple, clean, _pure_. He preferred the Greek origin. Kagome had looked at her with proud eyes and claimed, swore to God that her heart could never be tainted with darkness.

He was in love with her name and even more in love with her.

They sat in the dark, his eyes almost glowing as he watched his suckling, hungry child. He watched as his mate rocked her back and forth in her arms, humming to her a sweet melody…

And she was so terrifyingly tiny, so terrifyingly fragile. She was a _much _smaller version of her mother, with her pink lips and with the waves of midnight matted to her tiny head, with the paleness of her skin and…and she wasn't all her mother. She was some of him, too, with his golden eyes and his ears, and oh, how soft her black ears were, just like his. Her mother had cooed in happiness and admiration when she seen them, her bright smile bouncing off the walls of the whole room.

He figured he'd never known this kind of love if it wasn't for Kagome…and was he ever so thankful for her.

He'd been in there with him while she almost crushed his hand to small pieces, been in there pushing her hair back from her face and swiping her tears away and kissing her head, whispering sweet nothings into her ear and encouraging her…

He'd seen all she'd been through today, and the sight was enough to make him fall to his knees and apologize for every single thing he'd put her through in the past. He'd never been so grateful, so thankful, so in _awe _of all the strength that she harbored…only because he'd never imagined this did he not know she had that strength. She hadn't wanted her mother or Sango or anyone else by her side…of course, they were there encouraging her…but it was him who got to hold her hand and make things all better. She'd told him that he was worth it…that their baby girl was worth it…

He didn't know how to accept it all. He didn't understand why she wanted to be with him, why she had offered to have even _more _of his children…of course in a few years, she'd reminded him, saying that she needed a break after this one was over with, he didn't understand why or how or when she'd made that choice to keep his child while believing that he loved another woman, while knowing he'd proposed to and slept with another woman.

And he didn't want to think about that. He didn't even want to hear it.

Kaya was sound asleep now, her tiny belly full and her lips moving slightly as she slept.

"Inuyasha…" her voice was weak and quiet, and she yawned. "Hold her. I'm tired…I'm so tired."

He kissed her forehead, and then Kaya was in his arms, and a broad smile took place over his lips as his eyes glowed down at his daughter with pride, admiration, love, and joy. Kaya's breath was slow and steady, just like her mothers, and he found himself looking back and forth between the two, wondering how he'd gotten this lucky.

He hadn't wanted to be in the delivery room, really. And then he'd heard her moaning. He'd heard her screaming. He was used to making her moan, making her scream. After all, that was how Kaya had gotten here in the first place. But they weren't the good kinds of moaning and screaming, not the ones that made him hot all over, not the ones that made him pull her closer to him and…

He blushed. Not like he was prude, but he didn't want to think those things around his child, he felt as if he was polluting her mind or something…

But he had heard her agony. He had fucking felt it, for god's sake. The smells made his nose scrunch up in disgust as soon as he stepped in…like hospitals didn't make him sick enough…but it was fucking _birth _anyway, so he overcame it, just for his love, just for his wench, just for his child.

Kaya had came out kicking and screaming and crying…kicking and screaming and laughing, showing the world and all the nurses and doctors and her parents that she was finally _there_, and there to stay for a long time.

He rocked her back and forth, humming to her just as her mother had.

He smirked. Her scent was still fresh and clean, she smelled like a newborn with a chance to make the world better. She smelled so pure and clean, and she smelled like her mother, but there was also the distinctive scent of his mixing with theirs.

He liked watching her, he liked seeing her smile in her sleep, he liked the sight of her nose and ears twitching slightly.

Probably looking like an idiot but not giving a damn in the world, he watched the mother of his child and his daughter and for the first time, he knew what a real family felt like.

He held them, let Kagome lay on his side, let his daughter lay on his chest. Their steady and slow, cadenced breathing kept him calm for the rest of night, kept him from bursting from excitement or weeping for being thankful.

Not like he'd weep anyway…maybe he'd come close to some unshed tears today but that was all anyone would ever get out of him…

And he had everything he needed right here, so he held them, just held them.

He'd never let go.


End file.
